Bowling for Porcupine

By Robert Rhoades

You've seen the kids on TV with their hair all spiked? It looks as though they got their head caught in a MixMaster blender! Well, my daddy started that fad. Years ago, when I was not even a glimmer in my mother's eye, my daddy decided to save money by purchasing a pair of hair clippers and cutting my two older brothers' hair. Think about the math. It cost about 50 cents a piece to cut the two boys' hair. That's a dollar a month. For only six dollars he bought a manual pair of hair clippers (not electric). He would be saving a dollar a month! That may not sound like a lot but back then $10 would buy enough groceries to feed a family of four for a week! And in only two years time he would be saving a lot of money.

One of my daddy's first forays into the barbering business was my brother Eddie. Daddy would cut and pull at the same time which would make Eddie jerk and pull some hair out. After a few months of this Eddie had a lot of sores all over his head. Daddy thought Eddie probably had the mange from playing with the neighor's dog. In any case, while trying to cut Eddie's hair and not being able to manouver around the sores, Daddy became frustrated at the fact his hair looked worse and worse with each attempt and got the razor out and shaved Eddie bald! When mother came home and saw Eddie sitting on the front porch sulking, looking like a albino monkey she screamed, "What happened to my litle boy?"!!! Daddy, full of manly pride, stuck out his chest and said, "I did that!"

Mother, none too happy, told my daddy that he would have to take Eddie to work with him until Eddie's hair grew back. She, "wasn't going to sit around the house and look at that pitiful child all day." Poor little Eddie had to endure the torments and stares of his classmates until his hair grew back. He was a terribly scrawny kid anyway and his bald head just made him look like he had just had chemotherapy.